The 0.08: Frost Edges Meek in Second-Closest Finish Ever

Lead story, no contest: Frost beat Meek 155.9 to 155.8 on Monday night, a margin so thin you could floss with it. Eight hundredths of a point. That's the second-closest win in this league's history, trailing only Manny's legendary 0.06 dagger over Crock back in 2018. The hero? Dallas Goedert's quiet 9.8 at tight end, which turned out to be the entire ballgame. And in cruel irony, the commissioner literally labeled this one "Frost 3-0 vs Meek in Championships" on the slate before kickoff — Frost just keeps finding new, more excruciating ways to own this rivalry.

Over in the Comedian Bowl, Crawf rode an all-Bears backfield-and-beyond stack to a 146.2-122.3 beatdown of Crock. Caleb Williams (29.12), Luther Burden III (25.7), and Colston Loveland (19.9) combined for roughly 74.7 points — basically Chicago rented out Crawf's lineup for the afternoon. Meanwhile two-time champ Crock got torched by his own Panthers D/ST, which somehow posted a MINUS 3.0 against an 8.59 projection. Add two touchdowns called back and you've got the kind of week that makes a man reconsider the waiver wire entirely.

Dez throttled Beav 151.7-122.0 behind Jaxon Smith-Njigba's blistering 33.3, proving the Fake Support Bowl label was accurate for exactly one roster. But don't let the scoreboard fool you into thinking Dez had a perfect night — Isaiah Likely no-showed with a measly 3.2 against a 14.6 projection. Beav, for his part, got nothing out of Jalen Coker (1.9 on a 15.9 projection), which is the fantasy equivalent of ordering steak and getting a saltine.

The Game of the Week delivered fireworks and a reminder that stats don't always equal wins. Manny's Joe Burrow dropped a monstrous 36.9, yet Manny still fell to Marcus 144.5-115.4 — because Nico Collins decided to take the night off with a brutal 2.6 against a 17.2 projection. Marcus, meanwhile, didn't need fireworks of his own; Zay Flowers' steady 29.7 was plenty.

And then there's the Pink Bandanna Bowl, where Devion put up a legitimately ridiculous line — Tony Pollard's 38.5 and Drake Maye's 34.4 — and STILL lost, 142.3-133.5, to Chengy. Why? Because Chengy's Week 6 heist is paying dividends: the trade that sent Matthew Golden to Meek for Josh Jacobs (plus Deebo Samuel and Tyler Allgeier) looks like straight-up theft now. Jacobs delivered 20.1 for Chengy while Golden mustered just 9.9 for Meek — who, let's not forget, also lost by 0.08 this week. Rough stretch for Meek; Derrick Henry even chipped in a dud (5.9 on a 19.0 projection) just to pile on. Someone check on that guy.