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League columns, season previews, and burn-book digests — written by the house columnist, published by the commissioner. Opinions are loud; the stats behind them are real.
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18 pieces5 games · Week 9Matchup Previews · Week 9Head-to-head breakdown of every Week 9 game.2026Read →Burn-Book Digest · Week 8Meek Shatters the Record Books While Chengy Benches His Own Winning Lottery TicketPour one out for the history books, because they just got rewritten. Meek dropped a cool 249.9 on Beav's 150.5 in the Thursday night opener, and that is not just a win — that's a…2026 · Nov 3, 2026Read →5 games · Week 8Matchup Previews · Week 8Head-to-head breakdown of every Week 8 game.2026Read →Burn-Book Digest · Week 7The 0.08: Frost Edges Meek in Second-Closest Finish EverLead story, no contest: Frost beat Meek 155.9 to 155.8 on Monday night, a margin so thin you could floss with it. Eight hundredths of a point. That's the second-closest win in…2026 · Oct 29, 2026Read →5 games · Week 7Matchup Previews · Week 7Head-to-head breakdown of every Week 7 game.2026Read →Burn-Book Digest · Week 6Monday Night Massacre: Five Games, Five Knives, One Bad KneeForget the early slate — Week 6 was decided in prime time, and the football gods were in a mood. Four of five games came down to the last snap on Monday, and by the time the smoke…2026 · Oct 21, 2026Read →Burn-Book Digest · Week 5Week 5 Burn Book: Lions Stampede, Concussions, and Zero-Point GhostsThe Game of the Week lived up to the hype for one half of the building and turned into a horror movie for the other. Reigning champ Marcus put on a coronation, riding Jahmyr Gibbs…2026 · Oct 21, 2026Read →Burn-Book Digest · Week 4Crock's Cardiac Comeback Headlines a Wild Week 4 in the LeagueLet's get right to it: the Asterisk Bowl was the only game that mattered this week, and it ended with Crock doing something that should honestly be illegal. Frost strutted into…2026 · Oct 7, 2026Read →Burn-Book Digest · Week 3Week 3 Burn Book: Half-Point Heists and Full-Blown BustsLet's start with the Game of the Week, because the commissioner billed it as marquee and Marcus RSVP'd with a sledgehammer. Marcus smoked Dez 187.5 to 128.2, and Jahmyr Gibbs went…2026 · Oct 7, 2026Read →5 games · Week 5Matchup Previews · Week 5Head-to-head breakdown of every Week 5 game.2026Read →5 games · Week 4Matchup Previews · Week 4Head-to-head breakdown of every Week 4 game.2026Read →5 games · Week 3Matchup Previews · Week 3Head-to-head breakdown of every Week 3 game.2026Read →Burn-Book Digest · Week 2Champs Collide, Nabers Goes Down, and Saquon Ghosts Beav in Week 2The reigning champ flexed first. Marcus, still wearing the 2025 crown, went out and beat last year's title-holder Crawf, 137.9-114.6, and did it while Crawf's Caleb Williams…2026 · Sep 23, 2026Read →Burn-Book Digest · Week 1Week 1 Burn Book: Champs Still Cooking, Crock Catches Fire (The Bad Kind)Well, well, well. The reigning champ opened his title defense exactly how you'd expect — Marcus rolled Chengy 196.5 to 125.6 behind a two-headed monster in Kenneth Walker III…2026 · Sep 16, 2026Read →5 games · Week 2Matchup Previews · Week 2Head-to-head breakdown of every Week 2 game.2026Read →5 games · Week 1Matchup Previews · Week 1Head-to-head breakdown of every Week 1 game.2026Read →10 entriesSeason PreviewsTeam-by-team outlook for every roster in the league.2026Read →Draft PreviewMilk Merchant Reigns, Dez Rebuilds: Welcome to the 2026 Revenge DraftWell, it happened again — the regular season lied to us. Crawf and Devion spent 2025 running the table at 11-3 apiece, BELT BOYZ and Slime SZN looking like the two best rosters…2026 · Aug 4, 2026Read →