2026

1▬

The most important part of the outing. Unfortunately you haven’t messed the vibe up yet. Burnt a couple ribs (Unc Evans), but you’ll be iight. You came prepared with backups and the hat and sandals (Gibbs & K9). That recent L doesn’t matter.

2▬

You remind me of my uncles at the family parties. They be making all this noise at the dominoes tables and end up losing. You on a roll once again like the beginning of every year. A recent heartbreaking loss but you got the new WR1 so no worries, unless he do sumn else illegal. I hope it doesn’t end how it always ends for you, genuinely. Need some new faces in the offs.

3▲7

Idk how you keep doing it. Getting by doing the bare minimum. Brought ice and nun else, but somehow you’re here. That record fake as hell! CMC back to sacrificing his teammates so he can get all the touches. Release Arthur so I can complete the stack tho.

4▲1

All the old heads know how to play spades and never wanna teach the young niggas. They just bring em to the table and whoop they ass thinking they’ll learn along the way. That’s how you did Eng in that trade. Team has caught its stride and Cedrick Jervante should be good for you the rest of the year.

5▼2

Sides are very important at the cookout. Especially the Mac & Cheese. Nobody paying attention cuz you had some interesting losses but your team is still very good. Puka should be seeing 30 targets now with no tae smh. Speaking of mac, lemme get a plate next time y’all do that at the crib!

6▼2

Gotta have the vibe right with the music choice, and that seems to be the only thing you got going with this team. All vibes up and down this roster. Every matchup you have seems to be a dogfight. Might be another one this week. Injuries have hit you, but you still got JT & the possible return of Jab Jacobs. Hopefully not this week.

7▲2

Don’t know if you got the memo but this was a cookout, not a potluck. You the type to get lazy and bring sumn like croissants. I know Dez gone say I should’ve said conchas. Your team is better than that record. You back in the win column, but get it together before you end up in last.

8▼1

Every now and then, you catch someone dozing off in a lawn chair even through all the commotion. Injuries are out of your control, but you’re still making it happen somehow. 3 dubs, 2 of which were some grace-of-God wins. The RB situation will become an issue again with some guys returning.

9▼1

You know you’re dead wrong. You lied about bringing anything. All you showed up with was an empty stomach and excuses. Didn’t even help set or pack up. It’s always people like you at every gathering. Zero plan at WR, 3/5 RBs in terrible situations, TE getting zero targets with Vele back. It’s not looking good for you. Maybe The Nickname can save you. Lucky for you, it might be someone worse.

10▼4

Pretty sure I saw you getting plates ready before a few people even got their first. It was all good a few weeks ago. You were riding high them first two weeks. White Cam showed you who he really is. Your schedule does not look favorable in any way. Some shiny pieces on the squad but the rest are left and right cheek. Currently on a 4-game skid and it could possibly become 7. I do not envy you.